A Patient's Perspective By Gail Deneault

From time to time we have the pleasure and opportunity to present a patient perspective. 

This month Gail Deneault shares her thoughts on success with the LapBand.  Thank you Gail.

Head vs. Band ….. 

What a journey I have had the past 4 years.  So many successes and accomplishments, so much to be proud of, yet it has not been a smooth road.  In particular the past year has been a very stressful year both professionally and personally.  There were many times when “head” was winning over the band.  If you have had your band for awhile you know what I am talking about.  Living the banded life is hard work and takes a lot of thought and planning it doesn’t just happen.  Sometimes the head wins over banded living.

From January to June my head was winning a lot of the days.  I wasn’t being as faithful to banded living as I should have been.  Stress and my emotional eating habits were slowly and more consistently working their way back into my life.  By June I knew the scale (which I had been avoiding) was going in the wrong direction.  Even during this time the things I never gave up on were attending support groups, chat room, band on the run activities and I continued to exercise daily.  Although at times I was feeling a little hypocritical as I knew I was not truly practicing what was being preached. 

One day in June I was at the point where I needed to be held accountable, and as much as being accountable to myself should be enough I knew it was not enough.  With out getting into the gory details I needed to accept that stress eating was not going to change my personal or professional life.  I knew I did not want to regain 125 lbs and go back to my old life, because even with all the stress I was enjoying my new activities.  I love hiking, swimming, spin classes and outing with my band on the run friends.  I have come to tolerate running (no can’t say I love it).  This was all being put in jeopardy because I was letting my head win over the band. 

I had played the game long enough and was determined not to continue.  Now I had to figure out what to do about it.  I sent Adam an email requesting the next time he saw me at support group to “make me get on the scale”, figuring it was a month away and I had some time to repair the damage.  What I got back from Adam was not the response I wanted (but should have expected), “I expect to see you in the office this week!”  First emotion was panic at the thought of disappointing him; second thought was this is exactly what I need.  So I made the appointment and went into face the music.  I wanted to get on the scale immediately and get it over with, Adam wanted to talk first to find out what was going on.  I have always appreciated his kindness, compassion and understanding but even more so on this day.  He was supportive, did not pass judgment and reminded me that he and his team are there to support all of us.  When I stepped on the scale it showed I had gained about 2 lbs a month (that sounds better than 12 lbs in 6 months).  It was the reality check I needed, so grateful Adam had the insight not to have me wait a month to “repair the damage”, we all know it would have just been an opportunity to add on additional pounds.

I went home and had a long talk with myself, I knew I was at a point where I would either get back on track or end up going back to my old ways, the one thing I was determined not to do.  The serenity prayer became my daily morning thought “Accept the things I can not change, change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”  Reality was I could not change what was happening at work or to some of the people in my family, but what I could change was my reaction to them. 

There were times during those six months where I wondered if the band had lost it’s effectiveness after four years.  A hard look at my actions proved the band was there, and still very effective if I would just use it.   One of the first things I did was start a journal not just of my food but also how I was feeling.  It only took a day or two to realize I had moved away from so many of the basic rules.  So reality check, it was time to get back to basics.  I once again became diligent about eating slower, separating my solids from liquids, making good food choices…..you all know the drill.  The end result is that in spite of the turmoil that continues around me I have lost the 12 lbs; I am back to my goal weight and continue to enjoy my active lifestyle. 

The band and I make an awesome team when we work together.  The band does not make the choice to opt in or out on any given day, I make that choice.  I also know for me personally the band is only a piece of the puzzle; it is Adam, his staff, and my band on the run friends who all make up my winning team.  To each and every one of you thank you I appreciate all of you.  I didn’t let most of you know to what extent I was struggling, but it was seeing you at support group, band on the run activities and “talking” during Adam’s Family chat that gave me the strength to get back on track.  You will never know how much that random e-mail to just check in meant to me.

Remember we got the band because we were determined to succeed.  This is a journey with ups and downs.  Like all of you I have experienced both the ups and the downs of this journey, but I have never given up and promise you that I never will.  Keep the faith and don’t forget to reach out for help when you need it.  I have no doubt that you will find the strength and support you need to make your weight loss journey a success, just like I did.  Feel free to contact me if you want some support from a fellow banster who understands that it is not always an easy road  gdeneault@verizon.net or 781-704-7931.  I will gladly join your winning team.