May 2013 Blog

May 2013 Blog

May-the month of Mother’s Day

What entitles me to write about mothers?

Well-for starters I have an amazing mother and my wife is a fabulous mother to my sons.  90% of my patients are female and probably 50% of them are mothers.  I’ve had a chance to observe quite a few mothers over the years and I have a few thoughts on the subject.  While I started by talking about mothers I am talking about fathers too.  This is really an essay about parents, children, and food.

I am convinced that most mothers (and fathers too) try their best and in the majority of cases succeed in raising happy, healthy and well adjusted children who go on to be similarly well adapted in adulthood.  When it doesn’t work out-rarely is it mom’s fault.  There is one aspect of the parent-child dynamic though that does deserve special caution and comment and that is interaction around food.  Mistakes can be made here and the consequences can be devastating and long standing.

Food is not love!  Food is not a reward and food is most certainly not a punishment.  Human beings are remarkably well engineered.  Even an infant knows when she is hungry and almost as importantly when she is not.  A toddler can tell his parents what and when he wants to eat or not eat.  By the time someone is teen it is probably too late for parents to effect much meaningful change in eating behavior.

I tell parents every day that the greatest gift they can give their children is a healthy attitude toward food and an appreciation and taste for healthy food.  Giving your kids twinkies, chips, soda, french fries, ice cream is not love-it’s insanity!  Until the teen years when kids can leave the home and buy their own food, children will eat what they are served and if not they will go hungry-not the worst thing in the world-for a few hours or even a night.  Kids learn pretty fast that if lean proteins, fruits, and vegetables are all that is available that they better eat them or go hungry.  Let’s be clear-I am not saying that an occasional trip out for ice cream or a cake on your birthday is a bad thing but there is absolutely NO ROLE for the routine presence of cakes, candies, cookies, chips, soda in a home with young children.  Nobody needs “junk food” especially not anyone with a young impressionable palate.

A brief and incomplete list of things we never want to catch ourselves saying:

“make daddy happy and have one more bite.”

“finish your vegetables and you can have dessert.”

“mommy made this especially for you.”

“if you behave, clean your room, stop fighting you may have a treat.”

“clean your plate-there are starving kids in Africa.”

“do you know how hard I worked to buy that meal or prepare that meal”

“if you don’t stop you are going to bed without supper.”

Lead by example and set a good one.  Young children are impressionable.  If they see mom or dad with a soda they are going to want one too.  The converse is also true.  If the parents eat GOOD FOOD, LESS OF IT, and EXERCISE MORE then likely the children will as well.  This May let’s all commit to setting a great example for our kids.  Let’s try to be the best parents we can be.  We can honor our mothers and our fathers by teaching their grandchildren to eat and live healthy and happy.  Good luck.  I know you can do it.

The BANDALICIOUS cookbook is now on the website.  It is found under the NEWS section for now but I will work on finding it a better permanent home.  If you haven’t browsed through it-you really should.  It is chock full of fabulous tried and true recipes contributed by your fellow bandsters.

The Walpole Day 5 K Run, Walk, Just Finish is June 8 and there is still time to register.  Don’t be left out.  Join your fellow bandsters for a great morning of exercise and camaraderie.  See the office staff for details.